Hello, it has been a while but I am pursuing something of interest and I would like to put my thoughts out here for you all to see.
Ever since I was young as you probably know I knew what it felt like to be Enlightened. This carried over from my past lives of whom I was most recently Dr. Lewis of the SRF disciple of Yogananda. I in this life had a great deal of spiritual progress but fell short of full liberation. The energy carried over to this life but I have to realize it completely to use it as I once could.
You see the energy I remember using was very powerful, to the point where it could manipulate the world much like telekinesis. There was none of this subconscious garbage, I had full conscious control over this power.
I am doing a 40 day sadanah twice to acquire this energy and my abilities again. I am training by manipulating the energy around my body to envelop for example people and objects as I see them in the world. Another example is to form bubbles of energy around my and to project it from my body in solid streams.
It feels as if clouds are floating around my body and I can shape or move these at will. You see though this is not something anybody else I have ever met has experienced it is still nothing compared to what is to come.
You see I am one of the two Witnesses of Revelation, born to bring about doomsday events which will cleanse the world.
But talk is cheap, proof is needed. I was talking to my guru and he told me I should do the James Randi challenge once I acquire these abilities.
Sometimes I wonder why I was born this way, without my state or abilities. I wish for things to be different and ask God why I don't have them now. Once you taste the Divine Glory nothing else can compare and this includes the powers. You see they are but a distraction to the Truth for you cannot enter Truth completely without first giving up the idea of being.
I am going to purify this world and spread the True word of God. Peace, Love and Prosperity will come, the powers will help this.
I work 9-5 monday to friday doing labor for a contractor my dad knows. They drink at lunchtime and smoke weed occasionly, it is a very slack workplace and quite the job for a young person like myself. But though this is the case it has no appeal, I do not want to drink with my friends and girls hardly interest me. I am becoming a recluse, living in my dreams and shunning the world around me. There is no point to life for it is simply a series of ups and downs with no end. The only way to overcome reincarnation is to realize you are Infinite.
I do not believe in blaming others and so I can blame nobody but myself for not having what I had before now. It is my own fault I get upset and it is my own fault I have not advanced faster. I desire to be free of this job, to have a mansion, to be one with God and to have his abilities. I desire to travel the world and show people that there is more to life than what they know. I desire to be free from the limits of this physical body which is nothing more than a fancy cage and to be free from this illusion.
I want to show other people the Truth of Religion and to let them know there is a light in this darkness. To let them know that within everything is beauty and Love.
I wonder why I am writing this now, it feels as if I am asleep while awake. Time has been flying by impossibly fast lately. I have renounced much of the world and have few people or things I care about. But in the end it is all a sacrifice to God or as I imagine Krishna. You see the purpose of worshipinga physical form is because it is easier to do so.
I am free and so are all of you, I am Enlightened and so are all of you. We are all capable of changing the world but do not allow it to be. Through tears I have begun to realize this truth, through misery I have rose to try.
There is only Victory awaiting me and I am blessed to be where I am today.
I renounce sex, women, money and all other worldly things. I pray to thee God with this board as my Witness to strive to acquire all I have.
Thank you, Sussch... nice to virtually meet you! So apparently there is no swearing on this forum.. half of my post has come out in the form of little stars....hmm.
-- Edited by Ishtar on Tuesday 19th of November 2013 04:51:16 PM
Something about your post really touched my heart, of course, it is because I can relate to you.
A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk with my love, who, like me, prioritizes spiritual ascension as being the utmost important thing. He has been a monk in an ashram for many years before renouncing his life of asceticism for the sake of his spiritual growth (that is --to simplify it-- needing to transcend the concept of a strictly regulated spirituality in order to understand the multivalent nature of the divine.)
On the other hand, there is me, who has come from a practice of black and chaos magick and found a rapid and massive acquisition of powers, only to renounce the majority of this practice for the sake of my own spiritual growth (that is, needing to trascend the concept of attachment to power.)
These are our backgrounds, I had strayed off the "left-hand path", he had strayed off the "right-hand path"*, and in our wanderings we happened to cross paths on some middle road and there we were, on a starlit walk, heading back to his apartment.
"When I want something, I will work ceaselessly, and tirelessly to achieve it and that is how I KNOW that full body ascension is on the horizon for me. It is so close I can ****ing taste it. Soon I will be able to physically teleport, it is so close..." I said, with stars in my eyes. "I always feel like I'm spiritually ascending at such a rapid rate!"
"But is that really what you want? Rather than attaining enlightenment in a grounded and steady way?" he said, peacefully.
"You are right. I am still so young, and so impatient..."And then tears formed in my eyes. "It's just that, after suffering the pain of this human world. I'm completely ****ed up and I am completely broken. I have nothing. I feel empty. I need this because this is literally all I have left." For me, attaining enlightenment was not just a desire, but a heartbroken desperation....
I admit that about myself, and it's a little sad.
And then I thought about something I heard, which is that your greatest strength is your greatest weakness.
It has proven true for me-- my unwavering, desperate desire to transcend the physical worlds limitations is my greatest strength and greatest weakness.
It has ****ed me over because I have pushed the boundaries of how much growth it is safe to experience in an amount of time. I have forced myself to develop so quickly in the past that my rapid expansion caused me to seriously question my sanity, and other experiences (There are many reprecussions for going too fast, as I have learnt all too well.)
But this has also been my greatest strength, for I know with undying certainty that full body ascension is soon to be upon me, simply for the fake that it is the only option for me. Nothing else matters. It is simply the only option.
*I use quotes because this is not the fullest truth because it implies duality which of course is a limited perspective of truth, but it is used here as a poetic device
When you say "I renounce sex, women, money and all other worldly things." I think what you mean to say is that you renounce your own perspective of women as earthly things. For women, just as men, and hermaphrodites, are not worldly things, they are souls. To renounce your perspective of women as earthly things would mean that you renounce your flesh lust, which is one of the many ways to avoid the distractions of the illusion, which is commendable. I believe you made a sort of freudian slip error in the way that you worded that.
Nevertheless, I am glad to see other souls who are devoted to their path and I'm glad that you posted.
