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Post Info TOPIC: Is this air i am breathing?
Draspy


International Psionics Journalist

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Posts: 527
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Is this air i am breathing?
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I know. You can take a moment to scold me for not being new to the forum, but in fact I am about to change your mind concerning that thought in the next few minutes.
My name is Fady, in case you never knew. It means "Savior" or "Redeemer" in my language, and that name mostly haunts me in every decision I make whether its voluntary or not.
I am known as "Draspy" among my friends, whether online or afk ones (I consider the internet pretty real, so i prefer to use afk rather than irl).
In the past few years, I haven't been "Me". I used to be a Psion on this forum, jokingly used to call myself "The locker" cause of the way I flood psiwheels and almost anything with energy that its hard to move it in any direction. And I used to enjoy my time here A LOT.
This was my second home, my refuge. The place i go to when i wanted to be "The way i want to be". Weird, dreamer, believer and on top of all a contributor.
However, I stopped getting on the forum gradually. My PK training stopped, I no longer could sense the energy nor control it. And whenever I tried to I'd end up disappointed.

I loved a beautiful woman, whom I met on an online game. A woman i could truly call, the love of my life. And for the past 2 years I've been with her, I've felt more depression and rage and instability more than any other time in my life. We always fought, made up.. then fought again. I gave her everything i had in terms of time, attention, love, care, everything you would like your boyfriend to provide you with, the only thing i couldn't provide was being there in her country. (Which I tried to do, but the embassy refused due to what was happening in my country)
And so I lived the worst 2 years of my life, depressed, alone and completely energy blocked with no where to go. I forgot the reason i started PK, I stopped feeling love towards people, instead it was replaced by a cold feeling or even hatred or dislike.. I no longer feel everyone should be loved, like i used to love everyone unconditionally.
Its something I hate that happened, but without it.. I wouldn't be the way I am now.
I found out later, how that girl has been cheating on me on many occasions, has lied about many stuff, and never cared about even one minute i've given her from my life. And after dumping me 5 months ago, I am recovering and finally trying to get back to the person I wanted to be..

One that I would love calling him "Me".
So.. If you say, i am not a new member. I assure you, you are incorrect somehow :)
And I'd like to introduce myself..
I am Draspy.
20 year old guy who lives in Cairo, Egypt. I am a Computer Science student in the third best general University in my country.
I am not a very loving person anymore, but I intend to change that with your help.
I am not capable of doing any PK energy work anymore, but I am willing to learn all over again if you would guide me.


And on top of all.. I've missed you all. I've missed each and everyone of you that i spent day and night talking to and joking around with. Sharing our experiences or our stories.
:) I hope you guys have room for a big noob like me :) Hahaha ^^



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"Know that ye are gods and all of you are children of the most high" ~ Psalms 82:6
"The kingdom of heaven is within you" ~ Jesus

shy


International Psionics Researcher & Theorist

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Posts: 902
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Hey Draspy, Welcome to the forum.. again ;)
I can relate to a lot of what you experienced. People say heartbreak gets easier with time, but certain people really touch our soul and then we never get over the betrayal.

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Sussch


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

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Hey, glad to see you again :)

The name is definitely interesting.



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The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna

A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.
owltwelve


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

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:)



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"Worry about self delusion, after you have succeeded." -Owltwelve
Shirak


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

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Hey Drapsy good to hear from you again. I was worried...
I found out my GF cheated on me Christmas day. 2 months later I met my future wife. 9 years later we are still together. At the time I feel as though I felt similar to what you described. That moment lead me to my future. A future with someone who accepts my PK potential. :)
You have a place and friends here. Lets just start with something small and work our way back together. Flame? Psi Wheel?


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Omega(the end) + X(the unknown) = Ending Ignorance of the unknown. Truth...knowledge...enlightenment

There is no failure only feedback. Failure is when you stop trying.
Arramu


Psionics Journalist

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Hmm hi Draspy! regarding your problem you seem to have a lot of negative energy in you at this moment in life. I suggest you try doing some light work. It doesn't long. If you don't know what it is you can Google or YouTube it. But in general it is a type of meditation where you focus on the power of your heart and therefore you use something that can be reffered to as 'cosmic energy'. In the media, in a cartoon called the silver surfer it was reffered to as the power cosmic. It is pleasant and helps with such problems. Here have a look at Alaje's videos, they are great : www.youtube.com/user/777ALAJE/videos

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Ah forget my signature, I have nothing smart to say...in a few months I will change my opinion probably :~p
Draspy


International Psionics Journalist

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Posts: 527
Date:
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@Shy Thanks shy <3 and yes, I am a person who rarely gets close to anyone.. or truly call someone "The love of my life" so you can imagine the degree of pain from the betrayal.. Excruciating pain.

@Sussch You still remember me :'D Thanks bro ~ And "Fady" is interesting to you? xD it sounds like "Fatty" :p but with a D.

@owltwelve I know.. You don't need to say anything xD That smiley face kinda flooded my mind with lots of responses you could probably say :D I missed you, mentor <3

@Shirak Thanks for worrying, brother :'D I missed you and I don't know if you got my message on facebook :D But Happy birthday (in case it didn't arrive xD). And i don't mind not having a partner anymore, I just wanna feel safe. If that means being alone, then so be it xD . And concerning psiwheels, i doubt i am capable of moving anything anymore. I have problems concentrating, i feel my eyes always losing focus and blurring so easily. I tried psiballs a few days ago. But i lost the focus after 3 minutes or so. I can not focus anymore and the "Impatience" makes it harder.

@Arramu True that, negative energy is my middle name now. And thanks for the videos I'll check them and tell you my feedback. Also Silver Surfer is one of my favorites :3 Great Example :)



__________________

"Know that ye are gods and all of you are children of the most high" ~ Psalms 82:6
"The kingdom of heaven is within you" ~ Jesus

Sussch


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

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Posts: 2041
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@Draspy: Probably that doubt is the problem for growing impatient and losing focus.



__________________

The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna

A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.
Draspy


International Psionics Journalist

Status: Offline
Posts: 527
Date:
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I believe doubt is one of the main reasons.. I always think like... "I used to do this long time ago.. i should think like this.. and it should move.. y u no move already.. gah i will never be able to move anything again.."
v.v I never doubted myself back then ;-;

__________________

"Know that ye are gods and all of you are children of the most high" ~ Psalms 82:6
"The kingdom of heaven is within you" ~ Jesus

Shirak


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

Status: Offline
Posts: 2476
Date:
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Hi Drapsy I had not logged into my facebook for some time I'll check it. I have issues with focus lately when I do its great but with so much going on I need to clean up my lab so I can have a quiet place of contemplation again. :)


__________________

Omega(the end) + X(the unknown) = Ending Ignorance of the unknown. Truth...knowledge...enlightenment

There is no failure only feedback. Failure is when you stop trying.
Draspy


International Psionics Journalist

Status: Offline
Posts: 527
Date:
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Well hope everything goes perfectly fine for you :D

__________________

"Know that ye are gods and all of you are children of the most high" ~ Psalms 82:6
"The kingdom of heaven is within you" ~ Jesus

shy


International Psionics Researcher & Theorist

Status: Offline
Posts: 902
Date:
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draspy, I understand betrayal too. I'm like you and don't open my true feelings up to most people. I had a rough childhood, and my adult life hasn't been so easy, so when someone comes along that I feel like really cares and understands, the betrayal is even more painful.

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owltwelve


International Psionics Researcher/Author/Journalist

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The pain of Betrayal, abandonment, & shame, can be overcome:)



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"Worry about self delusion, after you have succeeded." -Owltwelve
Draspy


International Psionics Journalist

Status: Offline
Posts: 527
Date:
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@Shy indeed shy. Its nice when someone understands it rather than say "Get over it" -.- lol

@owly <3 Thanks for the video bro <3 checking it :3

__________________

"Know that ye are gods and all of you are children of the most high" ~ Psalms 82:6
"The kingdom of heaven is within you" ~ Jesus

shy


International Psionics Researcher & Theorist

Status: Offline
Posts: 902
Date:
Permalink  

You don't ever really "get over" stuff like this Draspy, but you learn to forgive and overcome the hurt. All people have reasons they do things that you don't necessarily know about. It's not just to hurt you, or to be selfish even, a lot of times it is deeper than that.

thanks Owl :)


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