I've been studying psi for...*checks watch* about ten years now I wanna say. I've been all across the belief spectrum, from totally fluffy to nonbelieving skeptic. I'm pulling out of my skeptical phase now and kind of going back to how I was before, and have been looking for an online community that discusses telekinesis in a serious manner without skeptics running their mouths off.
I'm active at the PsionGuild and several other paranormal forums, so if you also frequent one of those sites, let me know!
I'm interested in your belief conflicts listed in your message above. Could I ask what made you believe, then not, and believe again? If it's too personal, that's fine, but it does make me curious.
I started getting into psi when I was in middle school. I didn't have any preconceived notions at the time and it seemed plausible enough. With a bit of practice I was able to do TK pretty well, and that was enough for me to start delving deeper.
I possibly got too deep. Started doing ghost and demon hunting and had a few experiences that I couldn't explain, and it ended up kinda decaying in my memory to where I couldn't tell if it actually happened or not. To make matters worse, I was in a string of relationships with young women that were also involved in paranormal things, and when those relationships fell apart, when they lied to me so blatantly, I started to wonder if the paranormal ideals that I had experienced during those times were also lies.
I just ended up being unsure whether I could trust myself. I just started trying to rationalize everything, I tried to find solid evidence for my beliefs, and wasn't really satisfied with that evidence, and my strength to believe in paranormal things kind of diminished.
As forum Admin I generally try and stay neutral. I just want to repeat something someone important said to me once. Figure out who you really are when you are grounded in that the rest will be but a compliment.
I appreciate your honesty about things from the past. I started trying many years ago and talked myself out of it. I stopped for almost two decades. I guess I wasn't ready for it.
Things are definitely different this time around. My Sifu quotes an old saying, "When the student is ready, the master will appear". It makes sense from my perspective, then, that I found this board when I finally became serious about learning/unlocking this.
