Hi all; i have been watching these forums for a fair while and finally have the courage to join. My name is Kyle; im a 24 year old currently living in New Zealand. I have been interested in all things Psy from a very young age. While living in England as a child i was always told i was an old soul; however up until the age of around 14 i just felt a bit ahead of my peers. At the age of 16 I developed a pretty rough drug habit. This lead me on a very colourful journey. 8 Years later i am still stuck in the same rut
There is alot of bottled emotions in me; and the fears inside me have grown exponentially. There are times that i consider myself a curse to be alive; and others i feel lucky to be aware. I have absolutely no one in my life currently that i am able to talk to about control; the few months i have been doing TM mediation; and pushing through as hard as i can; previously i have always been too anxious to calm. TM meditation has helped me alot with my emotional control; however i still feel lost. I have tried to stop eating meat; however i get extremely sick without meat in my diet.
I can feel energy; i just cant control it. Been researching / looking into all things Psy for what feels like a good half of my life; and i finally feel that there are others like me.
Any advice or help on my situation would be so greatly appreciated.
Hey Nomembrane and welcome to the forum :). Bottled emotions? I just live it out if i can't control it anymore. And i also sometimes curse myself to be alive. I also have no one to talk. I started to write my feelings down. You can start a journal, people will read and help you :D The feeling being lost should go away while being here.
If you can feel the energy, you are practically half way done. But i'll leave this to someone else to explain.
By the way, you had the courage to join, you were just afraid of the response but you got over it. :)
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~In order to gain something, you must present something of equal value.~ ~There is no such thing as good orevil. They are the same thing, just with a minor difference.~
Hi all, thank you very much for being so welcoming. I will be spending alot of my time looking up what many users here have allowed to share.
Alar34- I will take your advice and start recording the feelings i am getting. It feels like an exciting moment; yet it feels scary at the same time. Is it natural to have a deep seated fear?
@Nomembrane Of course it's natural. When i make video logs, i tremble of fear . But when you make some, you actually get used to it. (It doesn't matter if it's video log or anything. The same is still with writing at first )
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~In order to gain something, you must present something of equal value.~ ~There is no such thing as good orevil. They are the same thing, just with a minor difference.~
Hey Shirak, its really hard to know where to start. I have tried alooot of different things and had alot of mixed results. Maybe trying too much too fast; being overwhelmed and exhausted makes for little to no progress. My energy is up and down depending; and i cant honestly think why.
I was thinking of trying to align all my Chakra's and trying to contact my guide(s) as my first steps. I feel as if i may have made contact with my guide(s) but there is alot of doubt in me; maybe my past lives really have been terrible or maybe this is karma for the hurt i have already caused.
Lately i have been feeling really lost; as if im passive; without my own thoughts or control; waiting for life to pass?
Could be flouride. If the water in your area is highly fluoridated this is the exact side effect. Try switching to filtered rainwater and working on will power based exercise ie weights reps and and situps. This will amp your drive.
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Omega(the end) + X(the unknown) = Ending Ignorance of the unknown. Truth...knowledge...enlightenment
There is no failure only feedback. Failure is when you stop trying.
Flouride is put into the water pretty heavily locally from what i hear, and in my current state i wont be even close to buying a proper water cleaning setup. Its funny you mention will power based exercise, i dont exercise or work out. I dont treat my body very well at all, yet it is very nice to me.
. But when you make some, you actually get used to it. (It doesn't matter if it's video log or anything. The same is still with writing at first 
)
