Psychokinesis

YAAAA!!! Action figures! That brings me back. Still have some from my glory days! Played with action figures for a very long time. Battles and everything. I don't play with them anymore, but I keep them for sentimental value.

As for what happened when I was younger, I really don't remember what age I was. I remember it took place when I was living in the trailer park, which was somewhere between 5 and 10. I never said I didn't remember what happened though...

Ironically, this also has to do with action figures, but indirectly. I was heading to my friends house to play (with action figures) and I stepped on onto the road infront of my house, and I noticed the neighborhood bully came around the corner behind me with his friend. He didn't seem to notice me at all, but still, I swelled with anger, and kind of concentrated on him getting hurt. At the height of these emotions, which took only a second to get to, he quickly fell off his bike and hurt his leg. Bad enough that he couldn't ride home, and his friend had to help him.

I was so shocked by this that I went to the park and sat on the swing thinking about whether or not it was coincidence, or if i caused it. I decided that if I got another opportunity to test it, that I would to verify it. Sure enough, at that moment, he strode into the park with his friend and a bandage on his knee. As he climbed the slide, I decided to glare at him with the intent of harm again. He promptly fell off the slide (which was a ways down for him) and hurt his leg again. Now pretty convinced that I had something to do with it, and how it all fit together so neatly, with the timing of the accidents correlating perfectly with the height of my intent and emotions; I decided to head home, vowing to never do it again. Fearing that one day, should I be punished by my mom (which I knew would happen eventually) that I would turn said gift on her, even without intending to. Since then, it very rarely happens.

But, that pretty much is what jump started all this for me. I believed in these sorts of things even before that incident, but that was my first, profound experience.

It goes back beyond memories for me too.

Though, the first time I guess I really noticed it was at 19 (in 2007). Had decided to prove pk for myself. After having spent a month of pushing it hard, I gave up and it suddenly happened. Walked circles after that, trying to find all sorts of excuses from what I had learned in the physics classes.

A small block of note papers balanced on the corner of an old computer display.

Don't know .. I don't pronounce it. It just comes from suss (means slipper or shoe in English). That's the nickname they gave me back in primary school. Back then I pretty much hated it. Later I added a couple of letters and redesigned the construct.

My first time also was my reacting to a bully. Though I was way old (20) and still being bullied. 

3 years ago during a summer internship I began practicing seriously. Took advice from psipog seriously for years by that time. Really noticed no results at all. 

I then bought shirak's book (which I thought had better tips) but still trapped in thinking I needed to find certain techniques and systems in order to really notice results.

Well one day this particularly loud and vain person I'd known the previous summer at the internship took his usual disrespect toward me to another level and doing so around my coworkers.

And of course in secular work places no one really cares about the emotional peace of manual laboring employees, but mainly cares about getting paid and fitting in. And for inner city kids we were getting PAID lol. I didn't know what to do w/ $15 prh .

But after he disrespected me verbally and physically in ways that really made me upset that day I drove home that night and stopped caring about all of that ****. I'd been bullied before and I'd really had enough of it that night.

I sat in a car in a gas station simply living in the feeling of him being dead. Very single-heartedly.

I did this again in my bed before sleeping and even prayed that his spirit find peace after he died.

Literally the next day at work I didn't see his car as I always did.

Honestly I was a little excited by this in my heart.

The next day it was gone again. 

Later I asked about it. I'd gotten word that he was in a hospital due to his skin rotting from a poisonous spider bite.

I later learned he'd be back in about two weeks.

In that time work was much more peaceful for me and I was able to adapt to and learn certain new things.

Though at the end of it all I really didn't feel the best about having gone for what I did.

I haven't went for killing people since.

Actually, healing is one of the things that actually interests me a lot.

Now as a vet tech I deal with lots of dogs and cats. I notice seeming differences in their tempermants and habits. I notice when things seem to surprise them excite them or scare them. I'm so thankful to have intimately comforting moments with a certain cat I love and with various dogs, being that many have seemed sociable to some degree. I've had more deeply stress relieving moments with these animals than I get many times from my own parents and siblings.

I see more and more how unnecessarilly focused on death and sickness the belief system of this society is on a purely personal and subjective level and I know it doesn't have to be that way for me.

Every time I spin a psi wheel, roll a ball, move some paper, project healing awareness, and go for heavier and denser things I do so with intent to do similar to how I percieve jesus and shakyamuni buddha taught.

To leave the relativity of a ****hole world for something I know can be infinitely more comforting and beautiful at the same time.

Wow